Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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