I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
