I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
