I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
