it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
We are two peas in an std pod
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
FUCK WHALES
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
