Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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