Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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