Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
