Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
