So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
