Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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