I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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