You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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