so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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