i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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