Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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