dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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