I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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