There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
