She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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