Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
