yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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