I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
