I wish I could punch you in the face.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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