I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Barsexuality is the new black.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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