Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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