I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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