I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
