So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
