oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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