Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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