The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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