the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
