I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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