We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
