i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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