I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize