Ambien. No doubt about it.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
God I need to hump something, right now.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
