4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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