i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
