How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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