toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
