i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize