It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize