that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
