Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
