can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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