Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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