ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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