Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
