i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
