quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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