I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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