The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
