No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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