Non-Jews are for practice
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
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