I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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