apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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