Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
