I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
