What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize