I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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