oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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