how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
