he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
