So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
