i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
