I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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