we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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