DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
