Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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