Hey man sorry I got all grabby
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
