question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Cover your peen. We're going out.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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