i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
