We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
